At times I get confused and angry. Hayley is completely incapacitated and helpless, when this should have been the happiest summer of her life. She had a great summer job, was looking forward to NSA leadership, her work with the turtles in Costa Rica, and Cal Poly in the fall. Julia is struggling with rehab, filled with pain, and needs two more surgeries.
One day the meaning might be revealed, and spending time on what I can't control isn't a good use of energy. We are living one hour at a time.
Por ahora, Hayley todavía está sobre un camino desafiante. Las diferentes infecciones que ha sufrido que han sido difíciles de rastrear y tratar le impiden que se someta a una cirugía en su columna vertebral. Está respondiendo a su entorno hasta cierto punto, y esperamos que esto siga mejorando.
A veces me confundo y me enojo. Hayley está completamente incapacitada e indefensa, cuando éste debería haber sido el verano más feliz de su vida. Tenía un fabuloso trabajo de verano, estaba esperando el liderazgo de NSA, su trabajo con las tortugas en Costa Rica y Cal Poly en el otoño. Julia está luchando con la rehabilitación, llena de dolor, y necesita dos cirugías más.
Un día el significado podrá ser revelado, pasar el tiempo en lo que no puedo controlar no es un buen uso de la energía. Vivimos una hora a la vez.
A veces me confundo y me enojo. Hayley está completamente incapacitada e indefensa, cuando éste debería haber sido el verano más feliz de su vida. Tenía un fabuloso trabajo de verano, estaba esperando el liderazgo de NSA, su trabajo con las tortugas en Costa Rica y Cal Poly en el otoño. Julia está luchando con la rehabilitación, llena de dolor, y necesita dos cirugías más.
Un día el significado podrá ser revelado, pasar el tiempo en lo que no puedo controlar no es un buen uso de la energía. Vivimos una hora a la vez.
Ah the roller coaster of head trauma recovery.
ReplyDeleteSo I read the post I made earlier and felt sad, and that is not what needs to happen or how anyone reading it needs to feel. My bad.
But those feelings intrude from time to time, a result of forgetting to decide that life is miraculous, there is always hope, and everything DOES happen for a good reason, sometimes just WAY too big for our small minds.
SO ... that said, back on course, and today brought good news.
1. Hayley's temp is down for today.
2. A much needed and wanted transfer to Scripps La Jolla was approved today, something we thought wasn't possible. She will be admitted by the Trauma team Tuesday, assessed, and then her neurosurgeon Sanjay Ghosh, will assess her need for spinal fusion. Scripps is much closer to home. Up until now the parents and assorted others of us have been living in a hotel suite near the hospital, with the rest of us care taking here and there. Now parents can live at home and care for their two other daughters, ages 13 and 15, the three dogs, rabbit, fish, hamster and gecko.l
2. With the help of PT, Hayley sat up in a wheelchair and responded perfectly to commands. Her first smile was today when her good friend Katie visited. And her first sign of familiar annoyance when she can't do what she wants to do, came back. Hayley's back!!
Sometimes one loses sight of an unfolding miracle when it's so close. Her "diagnosis" didn't predict this recovery - so soon. Faith means that everything is unfolding as it must, that it already is exactly what it needs to be, and that God is infinitely good.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have..."
DeleteHang in there a little longer! Things WILL get better!
Thinking of you every minute of every day!!
Love,
Bianca
Good to read about the positive news today. I've been thinking of Hayley and Susan and the whole Brown family. Praying for your full recovery Hayley. Everyone at North Coast Family Medical Group is rooting for you!
ReplyDelete